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"you
are
my
fairtyale
that
doesn't
end
at
midnight."
Hello there! My name's Iryn and this is my blog. You can read a lot about me
here - specifically my journals. I like blogging, it helps me relax and it
gives me comfort.
UPDATES
- I've been on hiatus for some time now.
- Most of my recent posts can be found here CLICK.
You have to be my friend to view the whole site, though. But don't worry, i
accept invites.
- I'm currently enjoying what's left of the summer. Done with summer class.
Waiting for the another school year to begin. :D
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IRYNgrace. seventeen.
college junior.
ADZU, bsn.
Taken. :p
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Sunday, September 28, 2008 |
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-When she walks away from you mad - [Follow her] -When she stare's at your lips - [Kiss her] -When she pushes you or hit's you - [Grab her and don’t let go] -When she start's cursing at you - [Kiss her and tell her you love her] -When she's quiet - [Ask her what’s wrong] -When she ignore's you - [Give her your attention] -When she pulls away - [Pull her back] -When you see her at her worst - [Tell her she's beautiful] -When you see her start crying - [Just hold her and don’t say a word] -When you see her walking - [Sneak up and hug her waist from behind] -When she's scared - [Protect her] -When she lay's her head on your shoulder - [Tilt her head up and kiss her] -When she steal's your favorite hat - [Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night] -When she tease's you - [Tease her back and make her laugh] -When she doesn’t answer for a long time - [reassure her that everything is okay] -When she looks at you with doubt - [Back yourself up with the TRUTH] -When she say's that she like's you - [she really does more than you could understand] -When she grab's at your hands - [Hold her's and play with her fingers] -When she bump's into you - [bump into her back and make her laugh] -When she tells you a secret - [keep it safe and untold] -When she looks at you in your eyes - [don’t look away until she does] -WHEN SHE MISSES YOU - [SHES HURTING INSIDE] -When you break her heart - [the pain NEVER really goes away] -When she says its over - [she STILL wants you to be hers] -When she repost this bulletin - [she wants you to read it] - Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything - DON'T let her have the last word - NEVER call her hot! Pretty and beautiful is soo much better - Say you love her more than she could ever love you - Argue that she is the best girl ever - WHen she's mad hug her tight and don't let go - When she says she's ok don’t believe it, talk with her - When she says she's sorry, she truly means it - Because 10 yrs later she'll remember you - Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her - Call her before you sleep and after you wake up - Treat her like she's all that matters to you - Tease her and let her tease you back - Stay up all night with her when she's sick - Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid - Give her the world - Let her wear your clothes - When she's bored and sad, hang out with her - Let her know she's important - Kiss her in the pouring rain
Awww. :( This is just too sweet to handle. And its making me saaaad.Labels: emotions |
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"until you find me, 3:26 PM |
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yes, i am hurting indeed. |
Saturday, September 27, 2008 |
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I never knew it could hurt like this. I am hurting so much and I can't fight the pain anymore. I have no one to talk to and its making me feel miserable. Things have been so complicated lately and I feel that I can't handle this much pressure.
Yes, love may seem to be the most magnificent feeling in the world. There's no doubt about that, but once you and your partner go beyond all those wonderful stuff, the road gets jagged - and believe me, its not easy. I have experienced every wonderful event I could dream of with Nik and it has made me feel to be the most blessed being in this planet. Indeed. But after every wonderful event, surely, we come to experience all the bitterness life has to offer. And yes, we did. We had to be separated physically - he had to go to America and I had to be left here. But despite the immeasurable distance separating us, we grew closer together than ever before. (Believe it or not, we surmounted the cruel torment of being far away from each other). We are still currently separated by oceans and oceans but I don't know why life has to be so ironic. I mean, the both of us should be happy cause we are days and days closer to seeing each other again but no, a day closer just brings more setbacks which test our grip and how determined we are to pursue with this relationship. If you ask me, I'd give up anything and everything just to make this relationship work. But I am becoming weak. Very weak. I try very hard to keep positive and stay firm for this relationship to work but the fact that he has to leave again is too painful to handle. I can't imagine being away from him again. There's just too much heartaches involved. My emotions are extremely scrambled and I can't think of a single move to put them back in shape. Nik may not know this, but I do value his every effort to keep this relationship running and I'd want nothing more. All I would ever need is to have him by my side. I want him to be with me and spend every single day with me. I want us to be witnesses in each other's lives. I want us to be there for each other, I want to have and to hold him. I want to feel his hands with mine, I want to hug him, I want to kiss him. I want to cry on his shoulder. I want to feel the warmth of his embrace. I want him to be with me every day of my life - and all of those are beyond reach. I may sound very desperate. Yes, I am desperate. Desperate enough to just simply quit with this relationship. You heard me right. But there's something in me that stops me from doing so. And no matter how mushy this may sound, that something is love. Yeap, that love which started out to be very magnificent. The desire to attain that kind of love again just drives me to go on - no matter how complicated. Love isn't all candies and apples, there are a lot of tough obstacle courses that we have to go through. I know. But don't you think we've had enough sufferings? It seems like each day in this relationship is an obstacle course. That's what I want to know. I think we deserve something better. We've done too much sacrificing. But I don't know. I'm not the Almighty to dictate what happens to my life. I'm just a mere human being who has to go about her life with all the kinds of torments, tortures, and pains but I believe that after every obstacle, I know there's something good in store for this human being. And I just hope that it comes soon.
Love drives me to pursue my dream. And my dream is to be with Nik. I know in time we will be together, and when I say together, I mean permanently.. I HOPE.
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"until you find me, 8:19 PM |
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BLOGGIE, thanks for being here. |
Thursday, September 25, 2008 |
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Disclaimer: This post might contain the most dramatic thoughts and emotions. Might as well leave if you wouldn't take all the melodramatic content of this entry. Pardon me, I'm just feeling so much stressed right now and all I'm needing is a friend - someone who wouldn't ignore all my rants.
When I feel that I have no one to run to, its pretty relieving to know that I can always blog it out to release the excess pressure that I am feeling. *sigh. And when everything just doesn't seem to work out well, all I have is myself. My mind is clogged up with pretty much random yet weighty contemplations and I don't know where to begin. Every time I think about blogging or every time I start blogging, all these notions just come spurting out and I become more confused. Gosh. How much more arduous can my thoughts get? So, here goes, I'll try, as much as possible, to express my thoughts in a very organized manner (which I think is quite impossible) but its all worth a try.
I miss my Mom. My mom has been away for two months already and I think I have only talked to her on the phone twice. I'm slowly getting used to the fact that my Mom has to work abroad for us but I've lived my whole life having her around and its very challenging to adjust to a life without her. *Mommy, I terribly miss you. :((
I feel that I haven't been the BEST mate for him. It saddens me to think that I am not the best for him, but what affects me most is that I feel that I am not succeeding when I say that I am really trying very hard, with all my might, to become the best that I can be - for him. We had a little argument this afternoon and I was just so damn disoriented. There are times when I feel that maybe he deserves someone better. Someone who can soothe his feelings, someone who can give him what he needs, and someone who can be the best girlfriend for him. BUT the thought of him being with another is simply too heartbreaking to handle. During our argument this afternoon, he was, and I know, on the verge of giving up. I knew it clearly. He told me that he was tired, he told me that that was all that he could offer - and tears just came rolling down my cheeks. The mere idea that he was saying those words made me realize that I'm really not what and who he deserves. I kept on asking him if he wanted to give up. Breaking up with him is the least thing that I would want to happen right now. I need him, I love him, and I can't afford to lose him - not again. I will try and do whatever I can to become his best match and I know that all these things will pass. I just hope that I would still be holding on until that time.
I know everything that is happening right now has a reason. Even the slightest detail that's happening in my life has its own reason and God wouldn't have given me these trials if He knew that I couldn't bear all of these. So, I'll be staying strong and I know that in time, after every hardship, something magnificent will happen. :)
Labels: emotions realizations spiritual life |
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"until you find me, 10:22 PM |
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Tuesday, September 16, 2008 |
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This was something I wrote earlier for my Religious Studies 111 class. Our Prof. asked us to write about what we thought was the greatest gift for us, and this was my answer:
"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." Ephesians 4:31-32. For many, love is one of the greatest gifts you can give a person. There are many kinds of love in which you can share – romantic love, love of family, and love of friends. Whatever love we may have in mind, we must not forget that absolute and true love comes hand in hand with forgiveness. Forgiveness, for me, is the greatest and most precious gift that anyone can give to a person. And when I say forgiveness, I mean being able to overlook the ill will of another. Oftentimes we experience having been hurt by someone, and talking ill against them or beating them by the head is not a way of getting over the hurt. But if we always remember to treat people the way we would want to be treated, then our actions would be adjusted. It is but normal for us to get hurt in one way or another by someone but it doesn’t mean that we have to return what we have received by way of vengeance or keeping a grudge. We will truly know that we love a person when we see past their faults, learn to forgive, forget, and move on. Yes, these may seem difficult to achieve but love keeps no record of wrongs, because when we truly love a person, no matter how much hurt they have caused us, everything just seems to drift away since love overpowers every other emotion that we feel, even anger. And when the right time comes, we learn to forgive and forget, and there we can say that the love we have for that person is indeed complete and true, because it is only when a person truly overlooks the faults of another that he can say he truly loves that person – and that is what I meant when I said that forgiveness is the greatest gift one can give to a person.
Labels: emotions school life realizations |
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"until you find me, 7:58 PM |
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Wednesday, September 3, 2008 |
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RANDOMNESS STRIKES. SOME SURVEYS FROM FRIENDSTER. HAHAHA. FORGIVE ME, I'M JUST SO BOOORED! [ZERO] When you think about your first kiss, what does it remind you of? * I don't remember. [ONE] Who are your last three texts from? * Uchay. [TWO] Where was your default pic taken? * My grandma's house. [THREE] Whats your middle name? * Uchida. [FOUR] Your current relationship status? * Taken and very happy. :] [FIVE] Does the person you love, love you back? * Of course [SIX] what is your current mood? * Sleepy. [SEVEN] Whats your moms name? * Celia. [EIGHT] What color shirt are you wearin? * Brown. [NINE] Would you kiss the last person you kissed? * Of course. [TEN] If you could go back in time and change something, would you? * Yea. [ELEVEN] Have a crazy side? * Yea. :]] *Hmm Right beb? hahaha. [TWELVE] Ever had a near death experience? * Yes. Just this afternoon. :[[ [THIRTEEN] What is something you do a lot? * Chat. Surf the net. [FOURTEEN] Angry at anyone? * BIG TIME! [FIFTEEN] Do you wanna see somebody right now? * Yes. Sooooo much! [SIXTEEN] Do you like drama? * Kinda. Hahaha. [SEVENTEEN] When was the last time you cried? * Yesterday. [EIGHTEEN] Who would you do anything for? * Family. Nikole. :] [NINETEEN] Who is your hero? * Jesus. :P [TWENTY] What is the one thing you notice about the opposite sex first? * His porma. Especially his shoes. haha. [TWENTY-ONE] At what time do your friends call you? * When they need me. hahaha. [TWENTY-TWO] Whats your biggest secret? * I dunno. TWENTY-FIVE] Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows? * Yea. Haha. [TWENTY-SIX] What are you eating or drinking at the moment? * None. [TWENTY-SEVEN] Do you speak any other languages? * Yes... [TWENTY-EIGHT] Last time you went to the movies? * Last February. Hahaha. (I promised someone I wouldn't go to the movies til he arrives) [THIRTY] Have you ever kissed in the rain? * No. But I would love to. [THIRTY-ONE] Do you like the rain? * Sometimes. When I get to stay home. [THIRTY-TWO] What are you thinking about right now? * Lots of things. [THIRTY-THREE] What should you be doing right now? * Sleeping. Hahaha. [THIRTY-FOUR] What is your favorite memory? * Hmmmm. :] [THIRTY-FIVE] What are you listening to? * Nothing. [THIRTY-SIX] Who was the last person who said i love you to you? * Nikole. :] [THIRTY-SEVEN] Who was the last person you yelled at? * Keenah ata or Jinky. Wahahaha. :]] THIRTY-EIGHT] Do you act differently around the person you like? * Not at all. [THIRTY-NINE] What is your natural hair color? * Black. ;] [FORTY] Who was the last person to make you smile * Nikole. ------- 1.) If you can turn back time, in what specific year do you want to go back to? > I don't want to. I wanna fast forward the time, actually. . 2.) Are there any movie/s you're looking forward to? >Harry Potter 6. :] . 3.) What is your dream wedding? >Church Wedding with a garden reception. Awww
4.) To whom do you want to dedicate the song you're singing right now? >I'm not singing. HAHAHA
5.) Have you been to Paris yet? >I soo wish.
6.) Have you ever experienced a double date? >Yea. Lol.
7.) What is/are your favorite subject/s in school? >English. :)) . 8.) How about your least favorite subject/s? >Math. Curse MATH! . 9.) Do you care about your hair? >Yesss. . 10.) What is your Achilles' heel? >Funny thing. My strengths are my own weaknesses. Ironic.
11.) Are you a transvestite? >Nope..
12.) Are you jealous of someone? > Nope. . 13.) Rock, paper, or scissors? >Roccck! . 14.) How do you want to die? > Natural death.
15.) One thing others do not know about you: >Idk. . 16.) Do you think that the person who posted this is cute? >Sabreen? Haha. Yesss. :]]
17.) Do you know the story of Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves? >Yea. . 18.) Do you care if someone hates you? >To hell with them.
19.) What is your favorite book? >HARRY POTTER. The alchemist. . 20.) What do you think is the most attractive ethnicity? >Those of where I came from. :]]
21.) What is your opinion about abortion? > Don't do it if you can't fight for it. . 22.) Are you afraid of something? >Yes . 23.) If so, what are you afraid of? >Rats. . 24.) Do you work out? >Do I need to? HAHAHA. :)) kiddin. . 25.) Who is your fashion icon? >Paris Hilton. :] . 26.) Who is/are your favorite actor/s? >No one in particular. . 27.) Favorite actress/es? >Same.
28.) What is your favorite sports team? >Not into sports. . 29.) Are you an insomniac? >I was. Haha. . 30.) What is your dream job? >To become a doctor or a business tycoon. My gossh! . 31.) What is your best physical feature? >My face. :DD haha
Labels: random |
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"until you find me, 8:06 PM |
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Enough! I've had it! I just can't procrastinate anymore. I need to set my priorities straight and this time it's for real. No more nonsense. I need to get serious with my studies! Yesterday, I got to compute for my own grade in Microbiology. It hurt me a lot. I couldn't believe I got such grade. I was so disappointed in myself. I don't know what I did to deserve such thing. :( I feel so bad right now. There is nothing I can do anymore but to pray. I believe in the power of prayer and it has worked for me for so long already. And I know that in this desperate moment, it will once again work for me. I know I've done everything I could for that particular subject but if I would be given the chance, I promise to make it up with my grades. I offer everything to God, I know with Him nothing is impossible, and here I am, hoping for all the best. There is nothing more I could hope for but to pass all of my subjects and make my family proud. :(( Labels: emotions spiritual life academics |
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"until you find me, 9:04 AM |
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