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"you
are
my
fairtyale
that
doesn't
end
at
midnight."
Hello there! My name's Iryn and this is my blog. You can read a lot about me
here - specifically my journals. I like blogging, it helps me relax and it
gives me comfort.
UPDATES
- I've been on hiatus for some time now.
- Most of my recent posts can be found here CLICK.
You have to be my friend to view the whole site, though. But don't worry, i
accept invites.
- I'm currently enjoying what's left of the summer. Done with summer class.
Waiting for the another school year to begin. :D
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IRYNgrace. seventeen.
college junior.
ADZU, bsn.
Taken. :p
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Thursday, October 30, 2008 |
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Its cold.
Its raining. Its gloomy.
These are the reasons why I can't help but get melodramatic, sentimental, emotional - you name it. Despite the groove of the music that is currently playing, I feel like sitting in a corner and ponder on all the thoughts which I haven't dwelled on for a while now.
I want to be free of all the hurts, pains, sorrows, anger, hatred that I knowingly or unknowingly feel. I may seem happy-- yes, I am happy and content indeed but there are just some things that get in the way of my happiness. I long to be free of all of these negative emotions, I yearn to embrace true happiness and I want to feel it without any hesitations or so. There are a million reasons for me to be happy and I feel blessed enough. I have a wonderful family, loving friends, and an incomparable match BUT I long to be healed of all my hurts. I try very hard to achieve what needs to be achieved yet I can't. I am hurting inside. I feel that I haven't completely moved on from my past--my horrible past. You may think I'm stupid for dwelling on the past for so long but its not as easy as you think it is. I was also fooled by my own self. I thought it was finished, i thought it was all done, I thought I was fine -- I thought EVERYTHING was fine but I was wrong. There are times when my mind goes blank and I am being haunted by all those cutting memories and I get weak. @@
I try to put on a mask and pretend nothing's wrong- that everything's fine. BUT how long must I put up this show? I am getting tired. I'm trying to be true to my emotions but whatever I do just leads me back there. I need someone who won't get tired of listening to me. I need an outlet for all of these. I need someone who understands...
I thought time heals. But its taking so long for me to heal and I'm growing tired. When can I say that I am truly restored of all of my hurts? That I am free of all of those cutting memories? That I have moved on and I finally achieved what I have long yearned for?
When can I say that everything that's pulling me down right now will all drift away?
Not now...But maybe someday..Soon.. I hope. @@ Labels: emotions realizations |
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"until you find me, 3:00 PM |
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When it rains, it pours.
God answers our prayers according to His plan and whether or not His plan agrees with ours, everything happens perfectly for He knows what's best for us. And indeed, I feel very blessed to have been granted my prayers. I couldn't do anything more but to become very much thankful for every little thing that I have in my life right now.
The first semester is over and I feel much more relieved than I was these past few days. I was so anxious about my grades to qualify for the cap and badge. And thank God for every little thing. Our cap and badge will be on the 8th of November and it delights me to know that I made it. I mean, all my hard work and effort paid off. :) Wheeeew! I feel so relieved.
Everything happens in God's perfect timing. He knows what's best for us and all we have to do is trust Him and leave everything up to Him.
Labels: emotions school life spiritual life |
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"until you find me, 8:11 PM |
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Tuesday, October 21, 2008 |
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Yes, Sem break is here! The much awaited. HAHAHA. But I can't help but feel anxious about my exam results and my final grades :c oooh. I hope I make it for the cap and badge. (I'm keeping my fingers crossed). I really have no slightest idea as to what I will be doing for the break. And I know that this is because of my severe anxiety. Ahahaha I really feel terrible. I wanna make it and make my family proud. I hope I do.
God has plans for me. Everything that is happening to me right now is His plan and I know that He knows what's best for me. I will just continue to trust in Him and His plans for me. I surrender everything to Him. :)
*I am being oh so positive. Puhleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees.
Labels: school life emotions spiritual life |
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"until you find me, 5:32 PM |
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Wednesday, October 8, 2008 |
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Tomorrow is our 15th month as a couple. :) We've made it through every obstacle in this relationship and it has made me proud. These past few days have been filled with too much emotions - yes, the drama. But I can see past all that because I know that remaining strong for this relationship means having to spend the entirety of my life with Nik. No joke. I'm dead serious about being with him in the future. He's everything I have ever wanted and I can say that this relationship with him has been the best and nothing can compare to the bliss that I feel because of this relationship. :) He is the reason why I wake up with a smile on my face, he is the reason why I thank God for blessing me with such wonderful gifts, he is the reason for my every second of ecstasy.
Beb, Happy 15th monthsarry! I love you. :*
Labels: emotions spiritual life |
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"until you find me, 8:45 PM |
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